The University News

Issue date: 3/12/07 Section: News

Media Credit: Brittany Lane Drag queen "Daisy Bouquet" performs "And I Am Telling You,"

Media Credit: Brittany Lane

Media Credit: Brittany Lane JCCC student Ava Martin as Elrod, LGBT activist Spencer Brown as Daisy Bouquet and Sarah Noelle outside Pierson Auditorium before performing.

A woman doesn't know whether to applaud or cry when a man out-sluts her on so many levels.

The Gay Cabaret audience chose applause, sprinkled with wild laughter, when drag performer Tanya Turner seduced her man prey with a sexy lap dance to Tina Turner's "Private Dancer."

Turner swayed her hips, pulled her man to the stage and paced the floor beneath him on hands and knees before removing his tie. Turner's performance induced a drawn-out sigh of "damn" from her man's lips, which could be seen from the audience.

Turner, played by sophomore Tyler Antrup, urban planning and design, was one of five drag queens to take the stage at the Queers and Allies (Q&A) biannual Gay Cabaret, held at 8 p.m. March 9 in Pierson Auditorium.

Queen performances dominated the show, as in previous semesters. But Friday's set was rounded out with performances by drag king Elrod and cabaret singer Ashley Nicole Jones, senior, music education - who performed Patsy Cline's "Crazy." Sophomore Sarah Noelle, performance, and pianist Bridgett Johnson, sophomore, political science, assisted performances.

Queers and Allies (Q&A) changed its drag show to a cabaret format last semester.

"Cabaret is much more eclectic," said Q&A president J.R. Benmuvhar, senior, education.

The audience has since "quadrupled," according to Benmuvhar. More than 80 people attended Friday's cabaret.

Host Dr. Regina Cassandra Tallbottom Goldstein, played by Benmuvhar, welcomed the audience. A feisty Burnadette cut her short.

"Wanna get off my stage?" said Burnadette, a martini glass sloshing 'round in her hand.

Burnadette, played by sophomore Doug Brewer, music, was loaded with Liza Minelli attitude from the get-go and maintained it the entire show with random antics and a naughty lesson on "blowing" - the French horn, that is.

"I try to keep it classy, keep it clean," said Burnadette. "But it's fucking hard!"

Burnadette opened the show with Hollywood anthem "That's Entertainment!" before Dr. Goldstein took back the stage to finish her welcome.

The show will go on unless "evil" curator David Wasinger wants to shut it down, said Dr. Goldstein. Wasinger was the University of Missouri System curator whose comments about "queer theory" courses last fall were perceived by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) students as negative toward the LGBT community.

Freshman Aaron Baideme, business administration, was next on stage as Madame Tufon, lip-synching Savage Garden's "The Animal Song." Tufon sashayed her way across the stage in a large feather-brimmed hat that could double as an umbrella. But it wasn't pouring rain in Pierson. It was pouring Tufon.

Early into her number, Tufon fell off the stage. The crowd let out a resounding "oh." Like magic, she was up and at 'em, swiveling her body low to come to a sexy sitting pose on a table butting the stage. The table toppled over. The crowd winced. Tufon lost a shoe and made fun of her mishaps. The crowd laughed and cheered at her recovery.

"I couldn't walk off stage and cry," said Baideme about his choice to keep going.

While Dr. Goldstein sang Janis Joplin's "Mercedes Benz," Baideme concocted a way to recover Tufon's shoe. Tufon returned to announce she was auctioning off the "shoe from hell" and the "desk from hell" following the show.

"Kill your grandma and collect that inheritance you've been waiting for," Tufon said of the shoe.

"Kill a date," she said of the table.

What began as a somewhat serious performance morphed into the outstanding comic performance of the evening. Later, Baideme pulled off Tufon lip-synching Evanescence's "Lithium" without missing a beat.

Professional performer and activist Spencer Brown roused the crowd as sweet-faced Daisy Bouquet, singing, dancing and teasing her way through Jennifer Holliday's "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." Later, she joined Burnadette in the duet "Bosom Buddies" - which could be coined "Battle of the Blonds."

"You should really wear your hair natural like mine," said Daisy.

"Honey, if I wore my hair natural like yours, I would have no hair," Burnadette replied.

Drag king Elrod, played by Johnson County Community College student Ava Martin, and cabaret server Sarah Noelle also performed a duet to Dead Milkmen's "Punk Rock Girl." While queens chose get-ups slightly on the gaudy, unrealistic side, Martin's Elrod costume was very realistic. She looked like a boy - a very pretty boy, but a boy nonetheless.

Dr. Goldstein wound down the show with Gwen Stefani's "Wind It Up." And wind it up she did. The self-professed "high-maintenance Jewish mother" wound her butt, boobs and her entire body with a swivel of her heels.

"And like I said, the rightful Court Warming king," said Benmuvhar, a Court Warming candidate, following his performance.

Or would that be queen?

ABBA's "Dancing Queen" closed the show. The audience was invited to get up to dance and donate. Though the performers mostly attempted to rile up males in attendance, it was the females who took to the stage to dance the last number. More than five women joined performers, packing the stage.

"I think that it was a wonderful show. I haven't had that much fun in a long time!" said sophomore Andrew Chen, studio art.

Money raised by the cabaret will be used to form a team for the AIDS WALK Kansas City on April 28. The organization is $60 closer to their goal, but still far from reaching it.

Speakers from the Human Rights Campaign and Kansas City Violence Project spoke briefly about their organizations and LGBT issues during pauses in the show.

ckuns@unews.com

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