 I LIKE TO WATCH
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On Screen- “Bones”
Director- Ernest Dickerson (2001)
While it’s far from a great movie, “Bones” is certainly better than expected.
When four enterprising young people decide to renovate a dilapidated house in a crime-ridden inner-city neighborhood, they accidentally re-animate the long dead and notorious Jimmy Bones (Snoop Dogg). Bones had been the local kingpin of crime in the ‘70s until he was betrayed and murdered by his associates. Now he’s looking for a little supernatural vengeance.
When working as a cinematographer, director Dickerson gravitates toward respectable filmmakers like Spike Lee. But as a director he seems to have a taste for B-movie scenarios like “Demon Knight.” And as with that film he gives “Bones” a dark, sinister look and provides some over-the-top visuals. It’s too bad he was saddled with a script loaded with too many horror cliches that required him to focus too much time on a group of dull teens when his adult characters are far more interesting. It’s yet another example of Hollywood trying to market a film to every possible demographic no matter how adversely it affects the movie.
The flashback segments revealing the tale of Jimmy Bones are the best moments in the film. The fact that Pam Grier can play both her past and present day selves is a testament to how little she seems to have aged. But seeing her in full ‘70s regalia makes one realize that it’s been nearly 30 years since her blaxploitation prime. That reality imbues “Bones”’s tragic moments with a melancholic authenticity.
While it may only be half of a good movie, that half is very good. Michael T. Weiss (from the television series “The Pretender”) and Ricky Harris are great as Jimmy Bones’ unrepentant killers. And Grier has her meatiest role in years. But ultimately the film fails because of deadweight, stupid and unsympathetic teens who should have been dispatched in the film’s opening moments. Even Mr. Dogg has more charisma than these worthless pukes.
Story- **
Performances- **/
Entertainment Value- **
On Screen: “Serendipity”
Director- Peter Chelsom
John (John Cusack) and Sara (Kate Beckinsale) meet in a department store while trying to squeeze in some last minute Christmas shopping. Despite the fact that both are involved in relationships, they go on to have a wonderful evening together. When John makes it obvious that he is interested in seeing her again, Sara, being a big believer in destiny, writes her name and number in a book and tells him that she intends to sell it the next day. If they are meant to be together John will find it. If not, well… A few years later both parties realize what a monumentally stupid thing this was and begin a desperate search for each other.
If my above synopsis comes off as a bit sarcastic it’s only because in real life John would have strangled Sara for being a bubble-headed ditz and spent his remaining days in a prison cell. Fortunately this isn’t real life and thanks to a literate, funny and undeniably romantic screenplay, the movie succeeds where reality would fail.
The cast deserves a lion’s share of credit for making all of this work as well. Though Cusack and Beckinsale share little screentime together, they generate enough chemistry in their early scenes to make the viewer truly understand their desire to reconnect. Molly Shannon, as Sara’s best friend, is mostly annoying. But Jeremy Piven, as John’s pal, creates a character every bit as interesting as the leads. The movie even has the nerve to suggest the heartbreak left in the wake of John and Sara’s realization that they’re meant for each other.
Even the most hardened cynic will have a difficult time not falling victim to this movie’s charms.
Story- ***
Performances- ***
Entertainment Value- ****
On DVD- “Dracula vs. Frankenstein”
Schlockmeister Al Adamson’s best-known film has finally made it’s way to DVD. Even better, it’s been given the deluxe treatment usually reserved for films like “Lawrence of Arabia,” including a commentary from producer Sam Sherman, deleted scenes and the original ending.
None of these things are likely to endear the film to folks with no taste for Adamson brand of slapdash filmmaking, but it certainly makes for a nice package for his fans.
The story is rather sloppy as this originally started out as a completely different movie starring neither Dracula nor Frankenstein. But it basically involves Adamson’s wife and frequent star - Regina Carrol - searching for her sister. In Adamson’s world the involvement of the titular monsters somehow seems natural. Russ Tamblyn shows up as a biker to cause a little extra trouble (as if having Dracula and Frankenstein on your ass isn’t enough), as does Lon Chaney, Jr. in his last role.
If you haven’t seen this movie before, be prepared for the most ridiculous-looking Dracula ever to grace the screen. His short afro and pasty face make-up will have most viewers squirting their beverage of choice out their nose. And the hippy cast delivers plenty of laugh-out-loud dialogue. The best line comes when a garishly garbed guy turns to his girlfriend and says, “Hey, let’s go get ready for the big protest tonight.”•
Story- *
Performances- **
Entertainment Value- ****
2008 Woodie Awards
