Out of the Pouch

Confessions of a reforming couch potato

By: Dan Stroud

Posted: 10/1/07

Standing on the walkway next to Bourke Field on the Rockhurst campus Thursday afternoon, there was much to appreciate. It is never dull for a sports purist to watch a pitcher's duel in baseball, or a defensive gem in football.

But what about a scoreless battle in soccer?

This writer has never been a soccer enthusiast. Having attended a few Kansas City Wizards matches in the past, there has never been any inkling of a reason to add another notch on to an already quite full sports repertoire.

Of course, there is the original American triumvirate of baseball, football and basketball.

Ty Cobb, Honus Wagner, Babe Ruth and Cy Young are legendary participants of the United States' oldest pastime. The World Series has become as common to American heritage as any two words housed in the English vocabulary.

Football produced the Galloping Ghost (Red Grange), the four horsemen (Notre Dame's famed backfield of Harry Stuhldreher, Don Miller, Jim Crowley, and Elmer Layden) and George "Papa Bear" Halas (Chicago coach and a founding father of the NFL).

Basketball, though younger than the rest, has produced American icons like Wilt "the Stilt" Chamberlain, Julius "Dr. J" Erving and Red Auerbach (Boston Celtics owner and coach). Even hockey, in its relative infancy as a national sports phenomenon, has managed to produce the "Great One" (Wayne Gretzky).

Thus soccer, the most popular sport in the world, despite international efforts by Pele and Diego Maradona, has never been given its fair shake in competition for the American public's heart and soul.

To be fair, soccer has experienced dramatic increases in youth participation in the past quarter century. In past generations ,Little League Baseball in the spring and Pee Wee Football in the fall were popular youth activities. Soccer, with ever-increasing development of indoor facilities, has positioned itself as a year-round activity, thus, whether intentionally or not, leaving little time for an increasing amount of youngsters to participate in the others.

Becoming a "Soccer Mom" has been a badge of honor for suburban wives and mothers for the better part of the past 20 years as well.

UMKC soccer has been in good hands under the tutelage of Head Coach Rick Benben over the past decade. The former Major Indoor Soccer League coach of the now defunct Kansas City Comets has built a program the university can be proud to call its own.

To watch a Kangaroo soccer match at close range is an experience in excitement, impatience and intimacy at some of their highest levels. Even for a less than enthusiastic observer, the sheer athleticism of the sport coupled with the ferocity of the competition makes for an intense experience.

But still, given the intricacies of the sport, couldn't we bring the language of soccer a little closer to the mainstream?

The gap between soccer's terminology and that of myself and other fellow couch potatoes watching the big three is far wider than comfort normally allows.

Terms like a bicycle kick, when a player attempts to kick a ball that is careening back above his head, and booking, when a referee calls a penalty on a player are just a couple of less familiar terms.

There is the term to compress the field, which is what we basketball fans call a full-court press. To close down an opponent is the same as covering a player like a glove. Going to the penalty spot is the same as taking a trip to the free-throw line.

Players do not get into arguments with officials, they engage in dissents. Soccer athletes don't perform like other sports on a field, they play on the pitch.

American football players engage in tackling at nearly the same ratio as soccer athletes. But there is a significant difference in this area as well. The latter method refers to challenging an adversary in possession of the ball with your feet, while the former deals with physical abuse to each other's bodies.

Setting up a counter attack is the same as basketball's fast break. A decoy in other sports competitions is referred to in soccer as a dummy.

Finally, in soccer there is extra time added to the end of a game, soccer's version of overtime. Curiously in this version, the referees add the time when injuries hold up play as the clock continues to run. Why can't they just stop the clock?

Needless to say, anyone not yet acquainted with the international sport has much to learn. That's not to say it's not worth the effort. After watching a double overtime game between the Kangaroos and the University of Evansville on Thursday that ended one to nil (yeah, OK, 1-0 or one to nothing for the other major sports), there certainly seems to be good reason to believe soccer can be a happening game.

Ready to learn the ropes? Head out to Bourke Field on Oct. 3 and cheer your Roos to victory. RooYah!!

disrzf@umkc.edu