Worlds apart

By: Grant Snider

Posted: 6/2/08

I'm a UMKC student - sort of.

If you saw me walking on campus and stopped me to ask for directions, I couldn't point you in the direction of Cockefair Hall. I might even giggle at the word "Cockefair." I've never studied or checked out a book at Miller Nichols library and I didn't even know we had something called a "quad."

Aside from the dingy U-News shack, the building I've visited most on the Volker campus is the financial aid office. Those were not happy visits. The reason for my ignorance? My school days are spent on that bastion of post-undergraduate studies known as Hospital Hill.

There are adequate reasons for the geographical separation of Hospital Hill and the Volker Campus. Locating the medical, dental, nursing and pharmacy schools next to a couple of large hospitals, Truman Medical Center and Children's Mercy, allows greater collaboration between the institutions and creates a health-care hub. This midtown location is probably more conveniently located for Kansas City's underserved patient pool. It's unlikely that many Plaza or Brookside residents want a root canal from a shaky 24-year-old who just started shaving only recently.

There are probably fascinating historical tidbits about how the university was founded and sprouted or acquired its disembodied health-education appendage. Unfortunately, since it's such a hassle to drive from the dental school to the main campus to immerse myself in UMKC's historical archives, I won't discuss the history. The present reality is a university split in two.

The 26 city blocks that span the distance from "Main Campus" to Hospital Hill may be necessary, but, like those drugs your student-doctor prescribed, they can create some unfortunate side effects.

Despite the $51.32 we each spent last semester to "provide support for the UMKC's men's and women's intercollegiate athletic programs," few of my Dental School classmates have any loyalty whatsoever to UMKC athletics. This is evidenced by the number of students wearing unforgivably ugly Mizzou and K-State scrubs, as well as the palpable feeling of euphoria the day after KU basketball won the national championship.

This deficiency in Roo Spirit may also afflict the folks on Volker Campus: not only do we have mediocre athletic teams, we are also a commuter school with many non-traditional students. But it indicates a larger disconnect between the overworked Hospital Hill students and the greater campus culture. Drilling on plastic teeth in our windowless building, we miss out on campus activities and fail to join organizations outside of our professional school.

UMKC offers numerous worthwhile cultural activities, attracting artists, politicians and other nationally renowned speakers. I'm assuming most of them have healthy dentitions. The KC Rep puts on phenomenal plays at bargain prices for students - and you don't need to get anesthetized to enjoy them. I could go on, but I deleted this week's pesky "UMKC Announcements" e-mail.

Perhaps most troubling, I know of only one fellow dental student who regularly reads the U-News - and he went to UMKC as an undergrad. And that campus readership program that guarantees free newspapers? All we see are two copies of the KC Star in the dental school library. The newspaper situation is symbolic: we neglect to care about main campus, and they neglect us.

I have a few solutions to bridge the literal and figurative gap between Volker and Hospital Hill - only one of which resembles light rail. I was thinking of an underground passageway with high-speed passenger trains. Like the Chunnel, only running under Westport rather than the English Channel.

If this project would cause an unbearable increase in student fees, building a new recreation center along with University Center-like amenities in one of the blighted lots near Hospital Hill would be acceptable. An alternative to faraway Swinney would be much more convenient for my infrequent sessions of pumping iron. And man cannot live on Quizno's bread alone - we need some more dining choices.

Some proposals are said to be "in the pipeline." Construction will probably begin the moment after I graduate or crumble under the weight of student loan debt. Though new facilities would do nothing to unite the campuses, it would prevent dental students from writing future editorials on the subject.

Maybe the easiest solution is to increase personal contact between Hospital Hill students and main-campus students. Free Root Canal Day, anyone?

gsnider@unews.com