Nonsensical thoughts in a girl's bedroom

By: Jennifer Bhargava

Posted: 4/18/05

I had the chance to escape tonight, yet here I am sitting on my bed and twirling my hair.

A half-eaten carton of chocolate ice cream and scattered animal crackers by my feet are the result of a long night of overload aftershock.

These episodes usually occur every Saturday night and last until Sunday evening, when I prepare myself to go through the entire cycle all over again.

It seems like forever ago when I didn't have piles of homework assignments to complete during the weekend. Welcome to college. A small part of me wishes that I was still 16 and my only concerns were going shopping and practicing sdance squad routines. Doing homework on a Saturday night would have been as foreign to me as joining the school newspaper.

It's funny how people change.

My memories are being clouded by the salsa music blaring through my window. Regret is starting to creep up on me but I swallow it. There's a perfectly good reason why I didn't go to that silly party tonight. When I remember it, I'll tell you.

I suppose my binge-eating and moping have more to do with procrastination than anything else. I'm addicted to pressure. Nothing excites me more than the sweet buzz of adrenaline rushing through my veins and fear tingling on my fingertips. Some of my best essays are accomplished under this morbid condition. Unfortunately, one of the side effects is insanity.

The noise through my window continues. Shrieks of laughter sound suspiciously familiar. Are my parents down there? Am I the only person in our neighborhood who is not doing the limbo and chugging Bacardi? How depressing.

Now I remember my reason for not going outside: alcohol. I need to stay away from that stuff.

Alcohol is responsible for 4% of worldwide disease and 75,000 deaths in the United States alone. It kills more people than tobacco.

Do you like my statistics?

Here's another on-the-edge-of-your-seat fact: 82% of college students seek summer jobs.

I've only had one job in my entire life. Seriously. In fifth grade I was appointed as my elementary school's morning greeter. With the exception of hall monitor, it was possibly the most coveted job the school had to offer. Armed with only my personality and an orange sash, I single-handedly have the power to create instant joy or annoyance to hundreds of students. I stood in the hallway, with the mission to get everyone's morning started on the right foot, without appearing clingy or desperate. Unfortunately, one of the side effects of my manufactured cheerfulness was insanity.

See the pattern of my life?

I really need to look for a summer job. But I'll do that later-after I go to the party.

Jen - Sunday, April 17, 2005 2:58 p.m.

** Opinions expressed in the Unews blog do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The University News or its staff.