It's that time of the semester again. Coffee in one hand and a book in the other, you'll stay up all night memorizing, cramming and forcing a semester's worth of material into your head.
Have you thought about what you're doing? Do you know what could happen if you don't get enough sleep before you take your final?
You probably don't take a second to think these things through rationally. You tell yourself you will prepare before it's the last minute. You will make flash cards. You will start reading the book before it is too late.
Then, suddenly, it is the night before the final and your only thought is, "Oh, crap!"
This is a guide on how to flunk your finals.
Cram your heart out
It didn't work for your midterm, and it's not going to work for your finals. Your brain is capable of holding information, but not if you stuff it too full, too quickly. The more you try and shove into your head, the more likely you are to forget that information. It is much better to study small portions at a time over a longer period of time.
Pull an all-nighter, you zombie
If you're cramming, you are most likely trying to stay up for 24 hours or more. Sleep is like food, in that is an essential element of life. Without sleep your body cannot function properly. What's worse? It is not uncommon that when people try to stay up all night, it backfires and they fall asleep and miss their final.
Party til the sun comes up
It's fine to take a study break, but parties aren't just a little fun - they are a final taker's worst enemy. You will dance, sing and Guitar Hero the night away while your textbook is lonely on your bedroom floor. Before you realize it, you have 30 minutes until exam time. Looks like this party is over.
Textbook? What textbook?
If you think you can pass a final without reading the textbook, you're probably wrong. Many professors use more textbook information on the final than on other tests. You paid big bucks for that textbook and you're not even going to read it? F.
Skip every class
Lectures are just as important as tests. Sometimes professors will even go over test questions during class. You can't learn if you're never there.
These are the sure-fire ways to fail your finals, and probably the classes as a whole. I certainly don't encourage you to intentionally follow these steps, but I have flunked a final or two of my own.
I should tell you that I also worked the grades out with my professors, but don't go expecting a bailout every time. In most cases that won't work.
Use the reading days built into the academic calendar and start preparing at least one week in advance.
Finally, always get plenty of sleep the night before. It's a tough world out there.
The old saying might just be wrong, because if you don't snooze, you lose.
kmcmillen@unews.com
