Dear Readers,
Just an initial warning before I begin, some of you may be offended by what I write this week, but always keep in mind that my words are written with the sincerest of love.
It seems the warm weather brought out a new level of complacency all over campus and I feel that I have to interject before disaster runs amok.
I first noticed this attitude on Monday while sitting in my 9 a.m. Spanish class. The professor was beginning her lecture when through the door came a fellow classmate who apologized for being tardy.
Wearing sweats and a tee shirt about six times too large for her tiny frame, she took a seat directly in front of me.
Generally punctual, this petite girl is also always noticeably pulled-together, especially for an early-morning class.
I assumed her current slovenly fashion sense was due to a late night study session, but I began to wonder if she considered raking a comb through the rat's nest sitting atop her shoulders?
The sheer distraction of the wildlife refuge that was her hair kept me from properly concentrating on verb conjugation.
Later in the week, when the temperatures started to climb, the layers of clothing started coming off.
All over the quad, heavy coats were being replaced by Hollister tees and Uggs were swapped for strappy sandals.
Heels and toes were finally being exposed after a long season of snow and thermal socks.
Casting my eyes down at the still lifeless brown lawn, I began to actually fret about random wildfires spreading rampant due to friction fires starting from all the hooves that were in obvious need of pedicures.
I referred to some of the girls who were parading barefoot as spider women, because at any second they could most assuredly scale buildings using the talons which were now growing where toenails once had been.
This foul phenomenon repeated itself all week and left a path of devastation from the cafeteria to the Chi Omega house.
An epic plague worthy of biblical documentation, it left its victims blissfully ignorant of any sense of personal style and grooming ability.
Knowing that I too am a struggling student and poverty is a relatively reoccurring theme in our lives, I understand the urge to skimp on fashion frivolities.
I sigh aloud when Ed Hardy and True Religion are passed over for Target clearance and Wal-Mart roll-backs.
Though the economy is in near shambles, remember you can never discount the value of a great moisturizer and waking up 10 minutes earlier to comb your hair - at least it is free.
Spring is looming and you are surrounded by swarms of single people and endless possibilities for romantic entanglements.
After all, inner beauty is crap when no one can get past a proclivity for a poor wardrobe choices and a repellant presence.
With your best interests at heart,
Christian
crose@unews.com
