If a friend hadn't sent me the link to a YouTube video, I never would have known who Kellie Pickler was. But now, like millions of others, I feel a little smarter, thanks to the "American Idol" contestant's appearance on "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"
Pickler made that other YouTube star, Miss South Carolina, look like a candidate for Mensa. As Pickler struggled over a geography question, watching the un-oiled grinding of her mental cogs was painful. When she asked, "Is Europe a country?" the air was sucked out of the room.
After the laughter dies down, however, alarm bells should go off. The current generation of young folk is really and truly uneducated. I realize every 10 years someone says this. We always think we are better than the latest crop. But what if this is true, and each generation is becoming progressively more dependent on the easy answers?
I'm not just talking about dying habits like having to remember phone numbers and being able to do your times-tables without a $100 calculator. I refer to the basic subjects of a decent, well-rounded education - subjects like geography, history, philosophy and languages. Even writing in complete sentences has become a dying art. For real.
The powers-that-be at UMKC are worried, and rightly so. Retention remains a serious problem. Students flunk out because they just can't handle the basic requirements of the introductory courses, and our university, by law, is not permitted to teach remedial courses. That duty is reserved for community colleges.
Chancellor Guy Bailey has often repeated the math necessary for the university's economic survival. UMKC depends on tuition for a good part of its budget. Most universities are built like a pyramid, with a large undergraduate base supporting a smaller, graduate and professional-level offering, whereas UMKC is top-heavy, according to Bailey. With our limited number of undergraduates, we can't afford to have students dropping out so easily.
One of the proposed solutions, however, is truly frightening. Currently, the State of Missouri is working on a project of curriculum alignment. As Bailey explained to the Faculty Senate on Feb. 5, students can take two or three years of calculus in high school, yet flunk first-year college calculus, because it's not the same calculus. I have heard him say on several occasions, (with a fear in his voice suitable for someone who teaches linguistics) there are 11 different types of algebra.
Therefore, the idea now in vogue is this curriculum alignment. Prepare students in high school for exactly what they will encounter in college - in other words, teach to the test. This will extend the misguided principles of "No Child Left Behind" all the way up through university-level education. Make sure kids learn only and exactly what they need - just enough to obtain a piece of paper that satisfies the specific needs in a specific field of employment. Forget about the young adult ready to venture out into the wide world. We need to guarantee big business a task-specific work force.
Widely-accepted estimates place each of us in seven completely different types of jobs during our adult lives. When the ones we're prepared for fall through, we're left with flipping burgers. We don't have alternative skill sets. The only possible defense is an education that privileges our minds and not someone else's fluctuating labor requirements.
So if you can't sing like Pickler, don't complain about those general education requirements necessary to complete your degree. Ask for more of them. Getting a taste all across the board of what is out there is more than beneficial - it's essential. It's your insurance plan for the future. Fight the growing tendency of high schools to concentrate only on the "core curriculum" subjects necessary to qualify them for government dollars. If you have a kid, choose the school carefully. Vote for a candidate with an intelligent education platform.
You are part of a privileged class - you are attending a university. You're smarter than a fifth grader. Just take this quick quiz and prove it to yourself. (Answers below.)
1. What right is guaranteed by the 19th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution? 2. Who composed "Don Giovanni?" 3. What is the Pythagorean Theorem? 4. The Treaty of Versailles was signed in what year? 5. Who was Samuel Clemens? 6. Is Europe a country?
dsimons@unews.com
Answers: 1. Women's right to vote. 2. Mozart. 3. a2 + b2 = c2. 4. 1919. 5. Mark Twain. 6. Pickler thinks so.
